Adoption Preservation

By Debbie Swearingen

An adoptive mother (relative) called asking for assistance with her 14 year old who  was exhibiting behavioral problems to such an extent that the adoption of over 10 years was in jeopardy. 

The teen’s oppositional defiant behavior had escalated to such an extent that it led to school disruptions and time at the juvenile detention center. The adoptive mother shared not only her distress but her fear that her son would so negatively impact the family that he would have to move. 

The social worker working in adoption preservation provided supportive in-home counseling to the adoptive mother and individual counseling to the teen. Her focus with the teen included helping the teen develop anger management skills, coping skills and improvement of self-esteem. The adoptive mother was helped with understanding the reasons for her son’s behaviors and given a safe place to verbalize her feelings.

Today, the teen is doing better in the home and at school. The adoptive mom expressed appreciation for the help provided and is more hopeful.

An adoption is a life changing event for the child and adoptive parents. Making the important decision to adopt may be one of the most challenging and difficult decisions a person or couple can make, especially when adopting older children.

A disruption is described as an adoption that does not continue, resulting in the child returning to foster care and/or placement in another adoptive home. Adoption disruption is a painful experience for both the child and family.

What can cause disruption? Children who are adopted often come into foster care due to child abuse and abandonment. They are often left with emotional scars and unresolved trauma. These children will act out these traumas with behavior problems that are difficult for adoptive parents to manage.

Other causes can include the adoption being a poor match; children left in foster care for an extended time; children who have had multiple foster care placements and are then unable to adjust to adoption; age of the child at adoption, and children with special needs.

Statistics show that less than 1 percent of infant adoptions disrupt, and 10-15 percent of children age 3 and older disrupt. In addition to problems presented by children, an adoptive parent’s issues can contribute to adoption disruption as well. These can include divorce, financial stress, and their own unresolved trauma.

 Whatever the circumstance, individual and family therapists who understand the issues of adoption can provide the education, support and counseling to help prevent disruption. One of the most important factors in reducing disruptions is relevant and easily accessible post-adoption services for adoptive families, including financial support in the form of subsidies. With these supports, many adoptions that could have disrupted have been successful.