Why ask for help?

By KATIE BOYD

Many people live with uncomfortable emotional pain and stress. Help in dealing with these issues is available, although many suffering often do not seek it.

Individuals who do not seek help often remain quiet because they are afraid that people may judge them. The truth is, if you seek help, no one has to know. Your recovery can be as private as you wish. Counselors are bound by ethics and law not to discuss your problems with anyone else. Good therapists will make sure you understand confidentiality before you begin the first session.

Some people feel that you need to have "serious" problems before you should get help. The truth is that many people go to counseling when they are doing well in most areas of their life, but feel they need some fine-tuning in a certain area. For example, during times of increased stress (such as divorce, death of a loved one, job loss, or relationship difficulties) a person may want extra help dealing with these issues. They may want a place to discuss feelings, find a solution or plan of action, or get help communicating with others. Counseling can be an "emotional checkup" to help manage smaller stressors, before they become unmanageable. It can also offer personal growth and understanding, even when nothing is "wrong."

Some people may feel embarrassed about their emotional problems. A big part of a counselor's job is to make you feel comfortable and to listen without judgment. Remember that therapists are humans too, and they understand that it can be difficult to share information about your life with a stranger.

Many individuals may feel that asking for help is a sign of weakness. In fact, it is a sign of strength and resourcefulness. People who identify what they need and get it for themselves are strong. For example, someone who hires a personal trainer at the gym for help with weight loss is not thought of as weak. Why should asking for help from a therapist in dealing with stressful issues be any different?

Some people feel that having friends and family to talk with should be enough. While friends and family are generally great supports, therapy can offer benefits that friendships cannot. Quite simply, counseling is a safe place to talk. When you talk about an issue with a friend, they may have opinions about what you should do or may have a hard time not passing judgment. Talking with a person not involved in your personal life guarantees you can talk about issues with judgment. Also, friendships are mutual relationships, meaning your friends need support from you as well. A relationship with a therapist is one-sided, and your needs are primary.

You do not have to deal with problems alone, sometimes a professional outside of your personal life can give you insight and support to help guide you in the direction that is best for you.

Katie Boyd, M.A. is currently pursuing her doctorate in clinical psychology at Argosy University in Tampa and is working with adults with substance dependence problems at Manatee Glens, which helps families in crisis through mental health and addiction services, produces this biweekly column and welcomes your questions about mental health and substance abuse matters. For further information, call 782-4299.