The six factors to promoting personal attraction

By Jessica Crosby

Interpersonal attraction is the attraction between people that leads to friendship and romantic relationships. It is responsible for the chemistry or repulsion felt between two people. It is a concept that has been studied by psychologists for years.

Six factors have been consistently found to promote interpersonal attraction: proximity, similarity, familiarity, physical attraction, reinforcement and reciprocal liking.

• Physical proximity between people is critical. Relationships are formed more easily by those that we encounter often. For instance, individuals that share the same work place have a higher propinquity with one another, thus increasing the likelihood of interpersonal attraction.

• Similarity refers to the closeness of attitudes, interests, background, personality, values, social skills and beliefs shared by people. The more similar two people are, the more likely they are to be attracted to one another.

• Familiarity develops as a result of encountering another person regularly. The more one is exposed to another, the more familiar they become. Familiarity with others and our environment makes us feel safe. Thus, individuals we encounter frequently seem more safe and pleasing to us.

• The concept of reciprocal liking is simple, we like people who like us. In other words, we are more likely to respond positively to individuals that are nice to us.

• Physical attractiveness refers to the idea that we are more attracted to those that are similar to our own level of physical attractiveness. So, even though movie stars may be very attractive, we are more likely to desire a relationship with another person that is on our same level of attractiveness.

• Finally, the concept of reinforcement refers to the costs and the benefits of the relationship. If we are consistently rewarded with praise, affection, attention, or success in the presence of another person, than we are more likely to have positive feelings for that person. This is because we feel good when we receive some type of reward and we then associate those good feelings from the reward with the person who rewarded us.

The concept of reinforcement can work in the opposite direction as well. For instance, if we are consistently denied affection, attention, praise, or things we want, then we will feel negatively toward the person that does not reward us. This is one of the leading causes of the ending of relationships. If the costs of the relationship outweigh the benefits, than we are more likely to end the relationship.

This is especially true when an individual feels they have other relationship options. In the presence of other options, individuals are more likely to evaluate the costs and benefits of their relationship.

The principles of interpersonal attraction have been found to apply to many different cultural groups and are assumed to have been consistent for much of human history. They may have helped us to survive by establishing social support through the formation and maintenance of relationships with others that we find familiar, safe, and likely to help us be successful in our lives.