Giving is Good for Your Soul

By Dr. Robert Boxley

I have too much stuff.  Everyone I know has too much stuff.  These two revelations, discovered during the past holiday season, caused some angst around the household because we did not want to contribute to the “stuff” crisis.  Accordingly, we sent friends and families notice that we loved them, and rather than buying them a gift, we contributed money in their names—perhaps to buy goats in Africa, houses in Asia, or vaccinations in South America.  Surprise! Nobody minded our “stuff-avoidance” strategy.

Why would people give their hard-earned money to total strangers?  What psychological mechanism leads one person to lock up her possessions and another to open his wallet? Various studies have looked for answers, and psychologists Gil Clary and Mark Snyder have identified the top reasons why people donate time or money to charities. 

Foremost, these people highly value helping others and believe giving is a core quality in one’s sense of self. It is no coincidence that giving freely is a virtue discussed regularly in mosques, synagogues, churches, temples, covens and ministries throughout the world.  There is some universality to the idea that it is good for one person to help another Sharing is one of the first things we teach our children; this childish lesson does not lose its power as we mature.

It is often difficult to share in person, even though this method is the most intimate and rewarding.  We can’t all open our homes to a Hurricane Katrina victim, help a neighbor raise a barn, or feed the hungry in the bowels of Calcutta. Sometimes we need to use a proxy, even though this moves us one step away from the people we help. We may not be able to give our literal sweat, but we can donate monetary fruits of our labor toward this core value.

Many belief systems are convinced that helping others sows good vibes into the cosmos, to the eventual benefit of the giver.  Karma, the Golden Rule, and the ethic of Reciprocity all expound such values. To the believers, this is a genuine observation and not simply a rationalization.

The concept that “You catch more flies with honey than vinegar” spills into many disciplines. Medical doctors have noticed that persons with the most negative attitudes recover more slowly. They’ve also witnessed miraculous remissions in those who are steadfast in their good humor. In fact, an entire field is devoted to positive psychology and its healthy effects. Famous physician Patch Adams works on just these principles.

We also have a common-sense reason for giving. Even if it is not foremost in our minds, we know that life circumstances may someday place us on the other side of the charity fence.  Many of us are one serious injury, one bankrupted company, one divorce or one chemical imbalance away from needing services beyond our ability to pay. If we give when we can, we may lessen our misgivings about seeking help when we need it. 

While we cannot all be Mother Teresa, we can find that part of ourselves that awards validation for assisting those less fortunate.

Dr. Robert Boxley is the supervising psychologist at Manatee Glens, adjunct professor at Argosy University’s Tampa Campus and private practitioner. He has provided mental health counseling for over 20 years at both out-patient and in-patient facilities and has provided assessments for various government agencies, private agencies and individuals.